Is It Rude To Salt Food Your Host Made?

We’ve all been there: You sit down to a nice dinner lovingly prepared by a well-meaning, hard-working host—only to take a bite and discover that the food they spent hours preparing is bland as beige wallpaper. Oh, the horror! As a guest, you have three options when it comes to proper etiquette:

1. Say nothing, smile, and eat your dinner.
2. Politely ask for some salt.
3. Carefully take matters into your own hands.

Each choice is surrounded with pitfalls—I’m here to help you navigate a sad, saltless meal gracefully without stepping in them.

Option 1: Say Nothing

As a guest, the safest use for your mouth is for eating the food your host has prepared, and for complementing them on it. Depending on the sensitivity of your host, they could absolutely take offense at your implication that their food is disappointingly bland. My advice is to make the decision based on your host. If you don’t know them well, err on the side of caution and politeness and just chew your food. Please note: this option is not good for your long-term happiness.

Option 2: Make Fun Of Yourself

Personally, I believe that honesty is the best policy; life is too short to eat bland food. If your host didn’t have the courtesy to provide salt at the table (and I have lots to say about that!), there are ways to ask for salt that shift the “blame factor” from them to you.  Here are a few “it’s me, not you” excuses you could try…

• “OK, I’m so sorry to ask, but could I have just a little bit of salt? I’ve been over-salting my food for so long that I’ve totally blown out my palate…”
  
• “My blood pressure is feeling a bit low…can I snag a pinch of salt…”
  
• “Confession: I spent a lot of my childhood in timeout for sneaking out to the salt lick my dad kept in the backyard to attract deer. I’ve been a salt fiend ever since…”
  

Feel free to come up with your own self-deprecating jabs; the more they feel like something you’d actually say the more likely your host will have a good laugh at your expense and their pride will remain intact.

Option 3: Pack Your Own Stash

We’re skating perilously close to the edge of the etiquette danger zone, but like I said, life is too short to eat bland food. I’ve been known to sneak a pocket-sized slide-top tin filled with Maldon flaky sea salt into snooty restaurants with chefs who shoot daggers out of their eyes if you ask for salt, and then throw a cardboard canister of Morton’s at your head from the kitchen. So, if you’re feeling equal parts polite, mischievous, and self-serving, sneak in some salt and try your best to season your food without being noticed.

I’m not going to lie—it won’t be easy to do. Instead of trying to fish a tin of salt out of your pocket at the table, slide it open, and then sprinkle it over your food without getting the side-eye from your host, try this: Excuse yourself to the restroom, palm your pinch of salt, and then casually sprinkle it over your plate as you sit back down. You might want to practice at home first, but once you master this salty slight of hand, you’ll never have to worry about offending your host OR eating a sad plate of under-seasoned food in the name of politeness ever again.