7 Etiquette Dos and Don’ts Of Southern Potlucks Your Grandma Would Approve Of

Nothing brings a Southern family together quite like a delicious spread of nostalgic food, and Southern potlucks—whether we’re talking about a family reunion, holiday party, neighborhood picnic, or church homecoming—take that sentiment to a whole new level. These potlucks are all about gathering together and celebrating with a sprawling lineup of cheesy pasta bakes, creamy casserole, and vintage desserts, including the occasional jiggly gelatinous salad. 

Now, it might seem as simple as showing up with whatever dish you’d like, but that’s not how Southerners work. Just like with many other social gatherings and events, there are etiquette nuances we follow to ensure the best and most delicious potluck with no drama and plenty of food. Here are the dos and don’ts of attending a Southern potluck that grandma would definitely approve of. 

Potluck Etiquette Rules To Follow

Do: Be Proactive

Firstly, make it clear as soon as possible that you are attending and excited to help bring a dish. Next, make sure you offer to bring a certain dish (and have it confirmed by the host or group) instead of just showing up with something. Additionally, it’s considered polite to volunteer to bring extra items—such as sweet tea or rolls—if needed, so that the burden doesn’t just fall on one person to bring a huge batch. If one person is hosting, make sure to call the day before to verify your dish is still approved and offer to pick up anything the host needs. Basically, never show up without confirming what is actually needed and what you are bringing. 

Do: Be Flexible

Not just anyone gets to make the macaroni-and-cheese, or some other particular dishes expected and looked forward to year after year. No one wants to risk having to choke down an unseasoned side dish, or wish that your aunt had made the green bean casserole like usual. In fact, it can be considered rude to show up without having confirmed your dish with the host or group. If someone is usually responsible for a certain dish, it's usually best to just humbly bow out and make something else.

Do: Consider the Guest List

How many people are coming? Are there children? Does anyone have a food allergy? One of the most important issues that arise when preparing for a big Southern potluck is ensuring that there will be enough food for everyone, including at least a few options for those who have limited palates. If there are 30 people attending, showing up with an 8x8 dish of pineapple casserole wouldn’t be considered the proper protocol. Consider bringing a double batch, or inquiring if anyone else would like to bring something similar. A dish being scraped clean is usually a good thing, but not in this instance. 

Potluck Mistakes Not To Make

Don’t: Leave Without Cleaning

Since everyone brings their own covered dish to a potluck, it can be tempting to just replace the tin foil and be on your merry way. In a Southern crowd, that doesn’t cut it. After meals, it’s customary to offer to help clean up, whether that is gathering trash, wiping down counters, or helping package up leftovers. 

Don’t: Expect Leftovers 

When you show up to a potluck, it should generally be assumed that your contributed dish is offered with no expectations of getting whatever is in it back. Once it heads to the buffet line, your ownership ceases, and while you can certainly indulge in a portion for yourself, don’t be territorial over if there are leftovers or not. In fact, it is often preferred in Southern circles to leave behind any leftovers for the hosts, unless expressly stated otherwise. Preferably, leave any leftovers behind in an airtight container or covered plate. 

Don’t: Take a To-Go Plate

One of the biggest Southern potluck sins is to not only expect leftovers, but to feel entitled to bring other people’s leftovers home with you as well. Without the clear encouragement from the host, don’t start shoveling scoops of other guests’ dishes onto your own to-go plate; it won’t sit well with a Southern crowd.

Don’t: Insult Other Dishes

Sure, you might make the “best deviled eggs,” but if someone else is bringing them that year, make sure to be a gracious guest. Moreover, if there’s a casserole that everyone seems to be skipping over—we’re looking at you, lime jello delight—it is always considered polite to grab a small scoop, or at the very least make sure the contributor still feels appreciated. That’s just the Southern way!