7 Things You Shouldn't Say To A Southerner During Football Season

Sure, there are many reasons to look forward to autumn. The temperatures are finally cooling off, and the holidays are around the corner. However, in the South, fall marks the start of one of our favorite things: football season. To those who don’t quite understand the fanfare around game day and football allegiances, it can seem like a lot of hullabaloo—but not to Southerners. The idea of “I don’t watch football” doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to us. Loving football is ingrained into many Southerners, and come autumn, we’re talking about it, watching it, and prepping for tailgating parties. 

As you’re gearing up for your next watch party, it’s best to arrive prepared. Here are seven things you should never say to a Southerner during football season. 

"It's just a game."

If someone you know is acting upset after a loss, just mind your own business, even if you think it’s silly to get worked up about it. Southerners, in fact, do get worked up about it—and always will. Give time to mourn, and they’ll be in better spirits in no time. Well, unless it was the National Championship—or even more so, the SEC Championship. 

"What's the SEC?"

Speaking of the SEC, odds are Southerners aren’t talking about any government agency. We’re talking about the Southeastern Conference, which a majority of Southern universities’ football teams are part of. And whatever you do, don’t get caught in the middle of an argument about which conference is the best. You’re in for a heated debate, even though most Southerners are in agreement on the answer. 

"We know it's a big rivalry game, but it was the only day the wedding venue was available!"

Planning a wedding in the South during football season can be delicate, and you have to consider your guests’ allegiances. If a majority of your guests went to a certain college, expect to be on the edge of your seat until the football schedule comes out. It’s also not uncommon for there to be a television at the reception if the wedding is full of diehard fans and it falls on a big game weekend. While Emily Post would have been aghast to know that any television was in proximity of a wedding, don't be surprised.

"Can't you record it and watch it later?"

Watching football is a ritual performed in real time, and Southerners don’t like to be late to a party. Moreover, a win doesn’t feel quite the same if we know it’s not being shared across the South at the very moment the game is over, and a loss might hurt even more if you’ve saved up to watch the game at a better time. Not to mention, the results will be spoiled instantly by friends and family. 

“Why do you still care? You went there decades ago.” 

Southerners live by loyalty, and loyalty knows no expiration date. That goes for many things in life, including our sworn allegiances to a football team. College creates some of our fondest memories, and it feels only right to reminisce every year come football season, as well as share our love with others.  

“I root for whoever has the cutest costumes, or the best team colors.” 

As much as we can appreciate a cool uniform, this is a red flag for Southerners. Per our intense loyalty, we don’t much like fair-weather fans. As the old saying goes, if you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything. 

"Can we change the TV channel now?"

Any Southerner who has seen their favorite team come back from a huge deficit in the second half—or on the other hand, watched another team pull off a big surprise win in the fourth quarter—knows that it is not over until it’s really over. For those reasons, we have to watch until the end, just to be safe.