10 Habits Of Polite Southerners

Sometimes we act like the South has a monopoly on polite behavior and good etiquette, and of course, that's not the case. But while we'll acknowledge that there are plenty of gracious, friendly people all over the world, we maintain that Southerners are true pros when it comes to good manners. For us, etiquette isn't just knowing which fork to use or the ins and outs of a thoughtful thank-you note, it's about treating people with warmth and kindness. Here, we've rounded up ten habits that every polite Southerner keeps—or at least does their best to... we can't be perfect all the time. Just ask Ouiser.

1. We consider small talk a big deal.

Around here, even business transactions aren’t all business. Whether at the local bakery or the car repair shop, we go beyond "please" and "thank you" to chat with whomever is helping us. By the time we've got our blueberry scone in hand or our oil changed, we've also heard half of the attendant's life story and shared most of ours, and we like it that way. 

2. We reply to invitations in a timely manner.

The Southern social calendar is stacked with countless events and celebrations, from sip-and-sees to barbecues, so we do our best to respond to each invitation right when we receive it. A quick reply is helpful for the hosts, plus it ensures we won't forget when the invitation inevitably lands at the bottom of a growing mail stack. Of course, we can't make it to every event; and when we can't, we're sure to send a gift and a handwritten note.

3. We're quick to offer sincere compliments and show gratitude.

Social interactions are opportunities to build others up and make them feel good about themselves. We're eager to celebrate other people's achievements and quick to offer encouragement when the chips are down. Additionally, we say "thank you" earnestly and often; there's no such thing as showing too much gratitude.

4. We have a friendly demeanor.

Beyond watching our words, we also pay attention to our body language to ensure that we're exuding warmth: we maintain eye contact in conversation; refrain from closed-off positions, like crossing our arms; and respect personal space.

5. We put our buggies back.

There's no official law stating that you must return your shopping cart to the store entry or a parking lot holding area, but we generally operate as if it is one. A free-range buggy is at best inconsiderate and at worst a car-dinging machine. On the other hand, if you see someone fail to return their buggy, the polite thing to do is assume the best: Perhaps they have small children in the car that they can’t leave alone, or their mobility is limited. Shooting people dirty looks won’t win you any points for graciousness.

6. We don't offer advice unless it's solicited.

It's tempting to offer guidance in your areas of expertise, whether that's child-rearing or interior decorating, but polite folks refrain from sharing recommendations or life wisdom unless they've been explicitly requested to do so. Admittedly, we struggle with this one, but for the sake of good manners, we’re learning to hold our tongues.

7. We tip generously.

Etiquette goes beyond the words we speak, and a tip is a tangible expression of gratitude. Stellar service should always be celebrated with a generous tip, and even if service hasn't been top-notch, it's important to show a little compassion and tip anyway—you never know the behind-the-scenes circumstances that contributed to poor service that day.

8. We ask how you're doing and listen to the answer.

One of the hallmark character traits of polite people is that they listen more than the talk. They're quick to ask questions, attentive to the responses, and never interrupt. Rather than constantly turning conversations back to themselves, they are eager to give other people the floor.

9. On the other hand, we don't ask intrusive questions… even if we're dying to know the answers.

There's nothing wrong with a little curiosity, but even the nosiest among us knows better than to ask overly personal questions. Examples of inappropriate questions include (but are most certainly not limited to): "Why aren't y'all engaged yet?" "When are you having kids?" "Who does your Botox?"

10. Most importantly, we are gracious even when inconvenienced.

It's easy enough to be well-mannered when things are going your way, but it's in less pleasant situations that our true penchant for politeness shines. Whether it's a long wait for a table at our neighborhood restaurant, a botched paint job in our homes, or an unsatisfactory customer service interaction, we know how to keep our frustration in check and manage requests and complaints with tact, compassion, and patience. A little empathy goes a long way.